I meet a lot of leaders who are anxious about difficult conversations and giving feedback to their employees. However, shying away from those conversations will not make issues magically disappear, it will only inflate them.
Some conversations are about giving sincere feedback, and those can be quite uncomfortable for everyone. Other conversations are not about giving feedback at all, but they can still be awkward.
A meaningful outcome is dependent on mutual respect, and this requires two things of you:
1. To always start with the Trust Talk
2. To be an exceptional listener
In a climate where 40% of people think their managers won’t have honest conversations about work topics, you might feel overwhelmed by not knowing how to turn this around for your organization. You can move forward and have a winning team, but my advice is: don’t start by giving feedback, start by having the Trust Talk!
HOW TO HAVE THE TRUST TALK
The Trust Talk establishes respect and deep knowing of each other earlier before issues arise. That way you can build a psychologically safe place to offer future feedback, to generate motivation and engagement, so your team can take ownership of its continuous improvement.
Here is how to model a simple Trust Talk:
1. Ask for permission to share some insights
2. Tell your teammate that your relationship matters to you and that you will protect it by always offering honest feedback.
3. Ask if they are okay with this, then say “Will you do the same for me?”
Easy, straightforward, and effective.
Once you have established trust, difficult conversations or honest feedback talks are much easier.
There are many reasons to learn how to give honest feedback, and three that will have an immediate impact on your workplace are:
1. It protects your well-being as a leader
2. It enhances your team’s productivity
3. It fosters long-term trust and respect
When my client Nicole came to me for coaching, she was struggling with personal exhaustion, overwhelm, and lack of accountability for other employees.
To help build trust with her team, I trained Nicole to encourage team members to stay accountable and committed. It required her to stay vulnerable and accountable as well and to model these behaviors for her team.
The result?
The process changed the way her team communicated. They used all their tools to solve problems before asking Nicole for help, which allowed her to take weekends off for the first time in years. The path to a thriving culture is different for every company.
Whether it’s establishing trust, giving honest feedback, or boosting accountability, it all comes down to strengthening relationships.
Which leads me to the second paramount skill for intentional leaders:
BEING AN EXCEPTIONAL LISTENER
Active listening is at the heart of true inclusion and connected participation.
Listening to an employee who is feeling overlooked at work is a hard conversation. This kind of conversation can go in many directions. You, as a leader, can either elevate the relationship or contribute to its erosion. If you model active listening (which is, listen to understand) and mindful speaking (which is, speak so your coworker can hear you), you can have meaningful results fast.
How do you do that?
Start here:
1. When you are having a conversation with a team member, make sure you eliminate all distractions– cell phones, papers, and anxious thoughts.
2. Give them your full attention and ask thoughtful questions about what they’ve shared, but only after they are finished talking.
3. Summarize what you’ve heard and any agreements you’ve made.
Above all, keep an open mind and listen without jumping to conclusions or judging. Once you practice active listening, you will see how much easier and more effective conversations can be.
Next time you have a hard conversation, listen to understand, and then speak so they can hear you.
When you look for opportunities to give sincere feedback, use your chance to validate others for their talents, hard work and thoughtfulness.
Employees want recognition from their managers and 37% site recognition as the most important support method. It doesn’t need to be something huge, just recognize what they are feeling (most of the time people are feeling fearful and vulnerable just like you).
If you need more information on how to give effective and sincere feedback, schedule a discovery session with us here https://lnkd.in/gyWcS8SB
You will find that it isn’t hard to make it safe for fellow employees to share their issues and concerns. In return, you will have a team that takes ownership of the culture’s lasting growth.
